Category: 2/10

A gaggle of mercenaries must encounter the Prince of Darkness upon the final frontier, and fight a cruel battle for survival against the undead threat upon them. 

One thing I really like about this film is the beginning. Every protagonist is introduced in a fairly comprehensive display, with cartoon personalities so stereotypical and antithetical towards each other which kind of develops an interesting balance that promises entertainment. 

That’s the first 5 minutes. The next hour is an unbelievably inept attempt at sci-fi horror with admittedly well made industrial sets and warm lighting, but such incredibly primitive attempts at story and acting that the whole endeavor would have been more productive if everything was crushed, melted down and put in a landfill. Including the actors. 

2/10

As a filmgoer, rudimentary day-to-day politics is something you try to avoid. Someone with a lot of money thought: why not make a politically charged film out of its most contentious issues?

Get Out is one of the few movies you get everything you never wanted in one big 2 hour feature. Appalling acting, stupid plot, and despicable suggestions of casual racism underlining every discussion. Daniel Kaluuya’s humdrum and unemotional performance is awful, Allison Williams is equally ridiculous in her role, and the story remains stubbornly racial to the very end.

The directing is bad enough, but Get Out veers too closely to propaganda to be taken seriously; the political machines in its characters and tools are very plain. I’d spend another 3 paragraphs articulating, but most reasonable people would already know.

Rating: 2/10

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5052448/

This has been on my list for a while, mostly due to the cast and interesting theme. Sci-fi horror in the ocean which is probably to do with aliens… at least that should be easy to do. Right? 

Jesus, what a wreck! The messy and drama-fueled story is the polar opposite to the precision and accuracy that sci-fi needs to be, and the bombastic scripting ensures every character appears arrogant, narcissistic and unlikable. Divided into “chapters”, for reasons never revealed, the plot remains feckless and whimsical, crashing into hullabaloo instead of emergency, and matters are not improved by the soundtrack, which insists on trumpets and horns screeching every time a fish swims across the screen.

Just to compound the misery, it’s over 2 hours long; its few merits are stretched skeletal-thin over such a long feature. The only thing consistent in the film is Sharon Stone’s haircut and a desire to facefuck her wearing that stupid blazer. 

Rating: 2/10

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120184/

An unknown force is causing the apocalypse. Towns and cities are being destroyed by an unknown being. The only safe haven is a strange remote shack where several normal people find themselves together. Ravaged by their paranoia and fear, things can only get worse. 

And the synopsis is as good as it gets with this tiresome drama/mystery. Sloppy performances, undeveloped characters, and tedious scripting, “Huh? What are you saying?” quickly prove that the only mystery here is how long you are prepared to hold your attention.

Cynthia Gatlin does a somewhat workable job as the protagonist, and some of the dialogue occasionally shows seeds of promise, but the offensive lack of talent or ability quickly dispatches anything interesting. And what is with the constant weepy music played throughout the video? God make it stop!!

Rating: 2/10

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4333368/