Sphere (1998)

This has been on my list for a while, mostly due to the cast and interesting theme. Sci-fi horror in the ocean which is probably to do with aliens… at least that should be easy to do. Right? 

Jesus, what a wreck! The messy and drama-fueled story is the polar opposite to the precision and accuracy that sci-fi needs to be, and the bombastic scripting ensures every character appears arrogant, narcissistic and unlikable. Divided into “chapters”, for reasons never revealed, the plot remains feckless and whimsical, crashing into hullabaloo instead of emergency, and matters are not improved by the soundtrack, which insists on trumpets and horns screeching every time a fish swims across the screen.

Just to compound the misery, it’s over 2 hours long; its few merits are stretched skeletal-thin over such a long feature. The only thing consistent in the film is Sharon Stone’s haircut and a desire to facefuck her wearing that stupid blazer. 

Rating: 2/10

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